Closing Out 2025: A Year of Returning to Myself

As 2025 comes to a close, I find myself looking back on a year that asked—sometimes gently, sometimes forcefully—for me to step more fully into who I really am.  Not the version of myself shaped by old stories, worn-out beliefs, or the quiet limitations I’ve carried longer than I care to admit.  But the version of myself that’s rooted in authenticity, in truth, and in my very soul.

This year was full of new challenges for me and for most of those in my sphere.  These challenges seemed to present themselves with a message that went something like: “How will you handle this new thing?  And which version of you will be doing the handling?  The present day ‘you’ or the ‘you’ shaped by the past?”

I set out on an internal expedition: to understand the ways I talk to myself, to examine the subtle but powerful patterns of negative self-talk that have woven themselves into my life, and to question the long-held beliefs that quietly convinced me I was “less than.”  I recognized one of the deep-seated roots of my negative self-talk to be my speech impediment—my mild stutter.

Early in my life, I adopted the belief that I must be perfect, or at least as perfect as possible.  Most of us probably received this message growing up in our competitive society, but I grabbed onto it hard.  If I didn’t think I could excel at it, I didn’t want to try it at all.  Failing or doing poorly didn’t feel like an option.  Speaking with a disfluency or stutter was most definitely less than perfect, by my definition. 

During my internal expedition this year, I realized how often I softened myself to avoid being heard, how often I edited my presence to make others more comfortable, and how much energy I spent shrinking from moments when my voice mattered.  This year, I have decided to shed this old pattern.  I have decided that I will speak anyway.  I will show up anyway.  I will let my authentic voice—smooth or stumbling—be enough.

Starting in January, I will be teaching an Anatomy & Physiology class at CCV.  This is a role that I would never have taken in the past.  It both excites and unnerves me.  But I’m choosing it precisely because it calls me to grow, to expand, to stand in front of others with my whole self, and to trust that my voice—however it arrives—is worthy of being heard.

If 2025 was a year of peeling back layers, then 2026 will be a year of expansion.  A year of saying “yes” to the fullness of who I am.  A year of embodying freedom, trust, and self-acceptance. 

I’m grateful for the challenges, the insight, and the courage this year has offered me.  I’m even more grateful for the chance to begin again.

Here’s to stepping into the new year with authenticity, compassion for self and others, and a brave, open heart.