Being Seen Through Touch

The statements “I feel seen” and “I feel heard” have become more commonly used over the past few years. What do they mean?

What I’ve come to understand about these statements is that when another person truly hears what we are communicating and truly sees who we are beneath the surface, it can feel really good. It seems that a stronger, more authentic connection between two people has been established.

Brené Brown has said, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s this: we are hardwired for connection, and connecting requires courage, vulnerability, and conversation.” She defines connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.

I think most of us have had this experience of being seen and heard. Usually, it’s with a person who slows down enough to truly listen, to truly see. They are present and open. Their field of perception seems to have opened, and they are taking you in not only with their eyes and ears, but with their heart as well.

For me, this experience can be very healing. When I slip into the feeling that I am experiencing this reality of life singularly, a little island unto myself, I can get lonely. Feeling seen and heard by another person can fill me with feelings of support, understanding, and overall care. I think that these feelings have healing properties for both body and mind.

I’ve come to realize that we can also be seen and heard through touch.

There are times when patients seek out my care for help with more subtle or mysterious physical symptoms. Often, they have navigated the medical system and all the tests have come back negative. In some cases, patients have pointed out muscle knots or areas of tension in their bodies to their primary care physicians, and the tension has not been apparent through palpation. Patients can leave the appointment feeling confused and more worried.

Because I’ve been working with my hands for more than 25 years now, my hands have developed a deeper level of sensitivity. I can usually feel the tension, the muscle knots, the decreased mobility, or changes in energy flow. Sometimes patients will exclaim, “You feel it, too?!”

When I “feel it too” and can trace the patterns of tension in a patient’s body, they can have this profound feeling of being seen and heard. Often tears flow as they are reassured that they are not crazy, but are accurately perceiving their inner world. In addition, they often now feel less alone.

There is more therapeutic value to bodywork than feeling seen and heard, of course. Fascial and muscular restrictions can be reduced and released, energy flow through the tissues can be improved, posture can improve, mobility can feel smoother and more fluid, and emotions can come into balance.

But it might also be helpful to acknowledge that bodywork is a form of communication between two people. Words may not be exchanged, but information is traveling back and forth. There is a relationship between two living things, two nervous systems, two souls.